The Most Beautiful Day

It was coming to the weekend of Cinco De Meyo. Chase left out of town on Wednesday for work and of course I was going to be missing him. So was baby. He always held my tummy at night. I felt like I was just starting to show. I talked to him the night before he left about how big my belly was getting and debated if I wanted to take pictures of the progress. Because I didn't feel "prepared" we didn't. It's ok but now I wish we would have:) About a month ago the morning sickness went away. It was my first time I was over the morning sickness and chase was going to be gone. I had planned on surprising him with a new coffee table when he got home so I knew I would be busy while he was gone!( I broke our other one and it was our fav! ) During this month I was in to finding free furniture on ksl and having chase make it look pretty but it goes so fast so you have to stalk the website! Between that, work, and cleaning I was going to be so busy and before I knew it Chase would be home from a long weekend away! But unfortently the weekend wasn't quite like I had planned. It was Thursday evening and like always I was on the phone with Chase before bed. I felt a little cramp but thought nothing of it. When mentioned it to Chase he asked if I was ok and then told me not to worry. I agreed and we went on with our conversation. I went to bed and found myself waking up early in the AM . At that point I knew something was wrong. I called Chase right away and he told me to just make an appointment right away when the doctors opened, try to stay calm and not stress since that could possibly stress the baby. I called my mom, my sister, and started to get ready for the day. At 4am. Haha. I try to think as positive as possible and thought NOTHING could be wrong so I should just plan on going to work. When I left my house it was 7am and I just thought I would go to work and if I could go to the midwife I would just wait till after work. As I was a few blocks from my house on my way to work I talked to my sister Maria who was also very positive but told me to go to the doctor right away and not go into work. Without hesitation I called my midwife and told her what was happening. She was still sleeping but said, "meet me at my office in 30 minutes." EVERYTHING is running through my head...could this be happening? is everything ok? what is wrong with my baby? What did I do wrong? and then it enters my head, everything will be ok. Nothing could be wrong. If you know me well,  I am baby crazy. I would sneak out of primary class to go to the nursery to play with the babies. lol! I have been ready to have a baby to call ours and to hold since the day we got married. Well I get to my appointment and my midwife checks for the heartbeat but there was nothing. She wasnt too worried and then checked a couple other things. I was dialated at a 4 and only 19 weeks and 4 days along. It was at that point she told me it didn't look good but we will go get an ultrasound and see. At that moment, I cried. I called my mom, I called Chase, and he was on the next flight. My sister Maria was going to fly out if Chase couldn't get here and to just be support. Thank you, Maria. Again all the questions run through my head but I tried my best to stay positive. When I had my first ultra sound she was moving all around, waiving her hands, and so wiggly and active. This time, was different. My little angel layed there so sweet. The tech wasnt saying anything. And I still had HOPE. It was silent in the room and as my tears fell I asked if everything was ok. It was at that moment I was told that our little baby no longer had a heartbeat and I would have her later today. I still was in disbelief and couldn't understand how this could be happening and what I did wrong. Chase was boarding the plane when I got this news and was going to get to me sooner than later but I just wanted him there right then. Shortly after all of this I went back to the birthing center. Sure enough, I was having my baby. The contractions kicked in. And even after contractions I was STILL could not believe it. I layed in bed,cried, talked with my midwife, and texted the people I was closest to. My girlfriends from work were texting me and I shared the news. They asked me where I was and they would have dinner for us. It was something I was ok without, food was the last thing on my mind. The weather was gorgeous and there was a craft store across the street so I walked over there to enjoy the day, call my family, and just hope the time would pass so I could be with Chase. During this time I spoke with my mother in law and she cried with me. She told me she just sent a package of maternity clothes for Mother's Day. I forgot this weekend was Mother's day. I love celebrating Mother's Day. My mom has been the best mom to us and one day I was going to be just like her. To make all of this a little better, Chase got to me. He hugged me. We cried and I said I was sorry. Why was I apologizing you wonder? Because it is one thing in life I felt 100% responsible for and somehow I didn't do good enough. Like I failed. He comforted me. Told me everything I needed to hear. And he too was in disbelief. He and I enjoyed the weather and went for a walk. We talked about if it would be a boy or a girl, what our little baby would look like, and our faith. We knew everything would somehow be ok. We are an eternal family. We talked to my mom and she also reminded us everything will be ok and Heavenly Father knows what is best. She is so positive and said just what we needed. My contractions were off and on and got worse and worse. I was scared but Chase made everything perfect. Even though our world seemed to be crashing down. As I mentioned earlier my girlfriends from work said they would bring dinner. Sure enough, they did. And it was such a blessing. Even though we were so sick to our stomachs and not hungry at all, we still ate. It was heaven sent. Thank you Julie and Mandy. We really were starving but didn't even realize it. Sure enough in the middle of night, our little girl was born at 2:22am. It was a girl:) We held her, talked with her, and cried some more. We weren't sure we were going to name her but she was much more than just a baby to us. We named her Kelly:) Those of you that sent cards and flowers, texted, called, brought dinner....THANK YOU. We love and appreciate you. Because of you, it was the most beautiful day it could have been.